The being poor list didn't hit me until I read the one about waiting in the emergency room for six hours. Just last night I took my son to the emergency room, and they took him in right away (cause I have insurance!). But it didn't register that there were people waiting there! Kids of all ages were crying, sick and just tired of being there. Sigh, what a world...

On one hand, I do recognize some of my childhood in there - and even some frugal habits that no one should be ashamed of. :)

On the other hand, there's probably only in North America that you can be poor and have a car, or own a computer with an Internet access.

There are many poor families that could be far better off by making the right choices. I know many poor people who are frequently going to the pawnshop or asking for a food basket and yet are heavy smokers, heavy drinkers and reckless spenders with the little they've got. Bad habits attract bad habits sometimes...

I believe your outcomes are solely the result of your choices and I don't think to say so would be arrogant. I would remind everyone of a quote by Thomas Jefferson, "I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it."

Kim, you've clearly never been truly poor. I strongly urge you to read the link in the original post; maybe you'll realize that "choice" itself can be a luxury that poor people simply do not have.

I really didn't like the "Being Poor" article, partly because I see it as a list of excuses and also because there is nothing constructive to it. Indeed, there are very tough situations in life but in "rich countries" like USA and Canada, you can actually live off pretty well while being very poor.

While reading the article, I couldn't help but come up with answers in my head...

Examples:

"Being poor is getting angry at your kids for asking for all the crap they see on TV."

--> Kids do that, but you ain't supposed to buy all that crap! How about teaching your kids on what TV advertisements really are instead of getting angry?

And you got TV and cable too? What's up with that? Okay, that's pushing it a bit but surely there are people who are having it tougher than you.

Being poor is stopping the car to take a lamp from a stranger's trash.

--> Recycling is nothing to be ashamed of. If you don't pick it up, I will.

And so forth.

I think what Frank wrote above is actually much better food for the thought.

I also have a feeling that a lot of readers here were, at one point, quite poor, or had poor parents. Frugality is rarely an innate trait...

I wonder if the general lack of empathy for those that are less fortunate or lucky (or smart, if you're smug) as you is a uniquely American trait.

I am consistently horrified by the attitudes of people around me who seem to have little or no compassion for poor and/or uneducated people.

Frank was lucky enough to have a parent that cared for him and worked as hard as she could to provide everything he needed. I, too, was lucky in that respect because my single mom worked too many hours to provide much supervision but instilled in me a strong sense of responsibility. As a latchkey kid, I had a lot of responsibilities and a healthy dose of guilt for how hard life was on my mother.

I grew up in Flint, Michigan when it was the murder capitol of the country and I know a little something about poverty and lost hope. Many kids in my neighborhood weren't as "lucky" as I was. Their parents were often too busy dealing with the world falling apart around them - in the form of lost jobs, falling wages, rising crime, alcoholism, spousal abuse, drug abuse, depression, and general despair and loss of purpose -- to pay much attention to their kids. It sometimes seemed that parents resented their children for being just one more obligation they could not properly meet.

There is a fear and desperation in feeling like you are failing in spite of trying to find work, trying to meet your obligations. Often, people just give up and give in to their lesser qualities because they begin to feel utterly defeated and each attempt they make to get out is met with another setback.

Of course, what nobody likes to talk about, is that wealth breeds greater wealth and the impoverished continue to circle the drain, hoping they can climb on out or fall all the way down the hole. And it's more than psychological. Systems are set up to punish the poor and reward the already wealthy.

As for TVs and cable? I have had enough of people acting like the internet is a luxury. You can't find a job that pays more than $10 an hour without the internet these days! And cable TV is easily stolen or shared between neighbors. At least it was in my neighborhood many years ago.

It's a sad state of affairs and the comments of certain politicians in the wake of the deplaced impoverished in New Orleans makes my blood run cold. People need emptathy, kindness and assistance, particularly when the deck is stacked against them.

I think being poor happens because a series of bad choices have been made, by parents, and also by the child themselves as they grow up. The child has to want to learn, to get an education. They have to want to better themselves, and the parents have to want their child to succeed. Numerous poor decisions makes a person poor.

It's all about choices - and yes, the choices' of people who are taking care of you. I view alcohol and drugs as luxuries too. They were once bad choices and became bad habits. Internet can be like that too for many people. A large portion of Internet users don't know how to use it, they video chat instead of using the web as a source of information and wealth. (Tell me you don't know of at least one person who can barely eat yet spends hours chatting on the Internet?) I also find Cable TV a huge luxury too - whether it is stolen or not because it drains away valuable time that could be invested better.

That said Isadora, I agree wholeheartedly with what you said. This discussion, as the "Being Poor thread", is pointless and not very constructive.

I do think they need empathy, assistance and so forth. I realize what I wrote above was perhaps harsh. I've helped and tried to help many poor people (and still do) but it's very difficult because bad habits are very hard to lose. One of the thing I've noticed however, is that if you live in a ghetto, you'll get a ghetto-job in ghetto conditions. If they want to break the circle, they need to pack their stuff and move out.

I won't bore you with examples but you probably know a few people that came to your town with nothing and somehow managed to live decently. I know people who earning less than $10 per hour as you mentionned and while they aren't "rich", they are able to sustain their families decently. It's not always easy but if you have heart and will, there are solutions and in the end, living a rich life is certainly not only about money...

It'd be an eye opener for many people to have a study of the Poor next-door...

This is a great site. I'm going to add you to my blogroll on www.philtown.typepad.com. I did some writing on my blog recently about Katrina and how people who are mired in poverty can't always make clear decisions about their own survival. You might find it interesting based on what you wrote here.

Interesting... a lot of people here are saying "it's all about choices." That's not necessarily the case in a majority of the world. Choose to make education important? That would require schools. Move somewhere where there are schools? That would require money.

While the matter of choice is true for a number of people, compared to the number of people in true poverty around the world, it's rather insignificant.

Yes, but the comments above mention USA/Canada and other civilized countries where there are often solutions.

In countries plagued by poverty, war, famine and corruption, it is nearly impossible to escape and there's no denying that.

That's what Being (Truly) Poor is, IMHO.

Not the same kind of stuff an American "poor" would whine about...

Here's a nice blog article that takes a different perspective on the question.

http://www.urbanrefugee.ca/content/43

I hereby declare this a dead blog.

Want to avoid poverty?

1) Graduate high school
2) Don't get married before you're 21
3) Don't have a kid until you're married